Sunday, November 1, 2015

Nightmares & Emotional Storms

I never meant for any of this to happen. When I say that, I'm talking about having feelings for someone I have no business thinking twice about much less running through the streets of Washington D.C. to escape Egyptian terrorists. But when he reached for my hand I grabbed it like a life line. Soaking wet and chilled to the bone made Captain Hunter's kiss all the more warm and unsettling. Just as I thought he had feelings for me he pulled out a gun and put a bullet in the head of one of those Egyptian's. I was a decoy. Used. Then he shoved me in a non-descript van with some of his shady friends from Enigma. They didn't exactly give me a choice in helping them. Even I understand the concept of "We can make your life miserable and one big fat mess." The 'big fat mess' are my words, not theirs. They spoke with a great deal more finesse. 



What I learned about myself? Part of me wanted the nightmare to end. The other part longed to be a part of the action and the solution. My own emotional storm threatened to destroy what little self respect I had left. 

Saturday, October 24, 2015

Confused by Passion & Death Threats



Product DetailsWhen I decided to go to a geography conference in Washington D.C. I had no idea Enigma would be waiting for me. That scoundrel, Carter Johnson, flew the plane I took. Of course I didn’t know until I landed it was him. Needless to say I freaked. I hadn’t seen any of those sketchy agents for a year and when I saw two of them in the airport I knew it was only a matter of time before my life would unravel. Between my uncle threatening the president and the Prime Minister of Israel I didn’t have a chance of a normal trip. Oh! And did I mention a hurricane barreled toward the Atlantic seaboard?

Layers of mayhem started to fall into place. I found myself at odds with Captain Hunter. Again.
Product DetailsOne minute he was trying to find me before some Egyptian yahoos found me, the next he was pretending to undress me while luring them to come after us. Talk about an avalanche of emotions as to how I really felt about the captain just managed to confuse me more.


It felt like we were growing closer. All those months apart weighed on me, wondering if he was safe, happy or even loved someone. I wanted him to believe in me, believe that I could stop the terrible thing my uncle planned to do to the president. But in the end I sided with Uncle Jake. It would be my undoing.

Sunday, June 14, 2015

Hurricanes, Assassinations, Wacky Relatives OH MY!

Imagine my embarrassment when this happened in Winds of Deception. Tierney James captured my humiliation quite well throughout the story. Don't get the wrong idea if you read the book. I really do love my husband. Seriously. Only...well Captain Hunter just is like no one I've ever met before and I can't resist getting up to my eyeballs in trouble with the snap of his fingers. What's wrong with me! I haven't crossed the line yet but I'm standing on it with my toes hanging over the edge.

Chapter 1


Glass shattered when a bullet penetrated the mountain cabin window where Tessa tried to hide the last two days. A gust of fifteen degree wind followed by puffs of icy snow, burst into the room as if needing more space to pile its merciless whisper of a cold death. When she tried to find cover, the wet snow matted to her boots, and sent her sprawling into her partner’s bleeding body on the floor. 

He’d taken the bullet as he pushed her out of harm’s way. Frantic, Tessa covered his body with hers when more rounds of an automatic weapon pulverized the upper wall over the fireplace, sending debris into the flames, flickering light into the otherwise dark room. Knowing the moment of payback had arrived, she slid her hand down to the SIG rifle. Her partner, Chase Hunter, taught her how to use it the day before. She felt his firm grip on her wrist. Because she wasn’t an agent like him and the others on his team, fear caused her hand to shake. After all the times Chase had rescued her, she couldn’t let him down because of a lack of training.
“Tess, I want to tell you something.” He started to cough. His camouflaged shirt now covered in blood warned of no tomorrows. “About you. The way I feel.”
Just then the door of the cabin exploded inward. Tessa lifted the SIG and rolled to a sitting position as three men in goggles and white down suits rushed in. Without hesitation her finger met the trigger, knowing the weapon would deliver the accuracy she needed to end this nightmare. Men gasping for a last breath and landing like bombs against unsteady furniture sounded like music to Tessa’s ears, with the realization this nightmare had concluded one more time.
Like the other times, she would lower her weapon, before kneeling down next to him. Looking into his dark eyes, she watched as he stared at something in another time, another place.
It always ended this way. “Chase, don’t leave me. I need you.”
“Come closer.”
Lowering her ear to his lips, now blue with the coming of death, the words never varied. “I’m here.”
“You need to buckle your seat-belt.”
“What?” she said incredulously as her head jerked upward.
A hand touched her shoulder. “Mrs. Scott, we are about to land. You need to buckle your seatbelt.” A soft, comforting voice of a mature flight attendant caused her to startle awake.
Tessa shot a worried glance at the other passengers. Had she talked in her sleep? No one seemed to be giving her a second look when she buckled up, then ran her fingers through tangled curls. Aware of sleep drool on the corner of her mouth, she licked her lips then swiped away the moisture.
Embarrassment at the dream forced the march of red up her neck and onto her face just as the flight attendant came by once more for a final check. The dream sequence occurred often over the last year.
The attendant’s concern added a layer of discomfort. “Are you alright, Mrs. Scott? You look a little feverish.”

She scooted lower into her seat. 

You see what I mean? Less than an hour later I stumbled onto a pathway of destruction for the President of the United States and the Prime Minister of Israel. Tierney's book comes out June 29th. Must be why she keeps getting hangup calls and the sound of a drone buzzing overhead. 

Sunday, October 19, 2014

#4 Decorating Vs. National Security - Which is more dangerous?

Oh my gosh! Robert and I went to the hardware store today to buy a few things for our remodeled powder room. You would think we were in some reality show decorating contest for as long as it took. I say get what you like, looks good and fits your style. He over analyzes each screw, bolt, beveled verses flat item on the list. Of course, if he can get it cheaper at the Habitat Store for pennies (no matter if it's dented or dinged) then that makes much more sense. He does make sure I'm okay with the choice. Most of the time I am. After the marathon selection process we headed home.

I couldn't help but wonder if Chase would even care what kind of mirror I chose. Would he shrug with a slow irritation that I even ask his opinion? The man has a black and white apartment that looks like it arrived in a box from some online store. No pictures or mementos sitting around. Just a violin propped in the corner he claims to know how to play and some old books that smells like the inside of a musty flea market. Unlike Robert, he believes life is a series of rooms all done in black and white. I've thought about sneaking in someday and stencil the words, "Keep it simple, stupid" over the fireplace.

Back to Robert. He's a good man. Not very romantic, but definitely a good guy. At least once a week one of my girlfriends tells me how lucky I am to have him. I smile and nod. They've never been to a big box store with him to buy paint. Our idea of chic or urban country style differs enough that ends in the silent treatment on the ride home. Then I just go buy what I want. The last time I painted he never acknowledged the change until someone showed interest. Believe it or not he said: "I told Tessa to just get whatever she thought best. I trust her completely."

Probably wouldn't say that if he knew I live a secret life working with a nondescript government agency. Does that sound like someone you can trust? Wonder what he'd think knowing I decided to work for Enigma because I have this over powering need to be thrilled. Paint colors, new bathroom fixtures and salvaged do-dads from the resale store doesn't do it for me. Knowing I make a difference in the lives of those who protect this country from monsters of terror keeps my heart beating at a rate that can't be considered healthy. I say it's the work. Sometimes I think it's something else.




Monday, October 13, 2014

#3 Zen vs. Dust Bunnies


Laundry piles up when I work, act as chauffeur, try to keep meals on the table and volunteer at the food pantry for my church. There are dust bunnies under my kid’s bed that look like ostrich eggs. The other day Daniel went to get his soccer ball and brought one of those to the car instead. I was not amused. Then my husband, Robert said I needed to cut something out to make more time for the house. After all I was the one that wanted a bigger house. If I couldn't take care of it maybe we should downsize.

Have you ever had that moment when you see Rambo’s body but your head is where Sylvester’s Stallone’s should be? Then you lift your machine gun in the air and start firing, while screaming your outrage because the toilet overflowed. Me too! So I pop the Totally Zen CD into the car thingy and crank that puppy up on high, hoping to outlast the “Let It Go” song from Frozen my daughter is singing in the back seat while her brothers practice their Kung Fu on each other.

When I was captured by this guy named Amon from Egypt he kept telling me not to be afraid. I nearly became hysterical with laughter. I told him I had three kids and taught in a public junior high school. “Not much scares me,” I snorted. Yeah. I snorted. Not very dignified, but I’d just been kidnapped and thrown in the floor board of a car. The driver thought he was Mario Andretti or something the way he kept swerving and gunning the engine. I guess he thought he could outrun the hurricane that was over us. Idiot. 


Oh! My point! Being a mom and housewife gets a little dicey at times. You can’t always be Martha Stewart for the Roberts of this world. Find something to relieve the stress; hot bubble bath, spa day or for me it’s working at Enigma fighting terrorists. Robert doesn't even know I keep a gun Velcro to the top inside drawer of the nightstand. Sometimes secrets are a good thing. 

Thursday, October 9, 2014

#2 Not my Fault

Captain Chase Hunter is a no nonsense ex-Delta Force captain. He stampedes around my life like a F5 tornado. With a chip on his shoulder and anger management issues, it's a wonder the president even wanted him to be a team leader at Enigma. I guess when you save the president's life his way of thanking you is to put you in even more danger. I know this because I had the misfortune of giving him over three pints of my blood once. Not exactly my best day! Next thing I knew I  was working for Enigma.

Anyway, back to the captain. He's over six foot with a definite Cherokee heritage showing in those high cheek bones and dark skin. He's not a handsome man but holy cow, he certainly takes my breath away with those chocolate brown eyes and wide mouth. Did I mention he's as strong as an ox with ... Goodness. I think I'm going to have to go splash some water on my face. Let's just skip the description.

We get along most of the time. I probably talk to him more than my husband about the kids, world events and my dreams. What always amazes me is that he actually listens to me. It's a little disturbing at times because he seems to hold his breath at every word. A number of times he's told me I'm the only person who can make him laugh. One thing that concerns me is he rubs a spot on his chest when I'm around. It's like I'm the reason he's in pain. The others on the team have never noticed it. Only me.  Robert only listens if food or sex is involved.

And "NO" I'm not sleeping with the captain. Well there was that one time when we first met. It was really very innocent, at least on my part. We were on a mission, one king size bed and he being the gentleman, slept on the floor. I promise I didn't know he'd get off the floor during the night, turn up the air and crawl into bed when I was sound asleep. Somehow the cold made me gravitate into his arms. Nothing happened! Horrified I set some kind of record jumping out of the bed the next morning. I didn't think he would ever stop laughing. Even today he holds that over my head.

So why did I share a room with him in the first place? I didn't have a choice. He didn't trust me because I sort of tried to escape several times. Totally not my fault. Robert had taken the children on a trip to Tahoe so it was out of the question I call for help. After all I was being watched by some crack pot agency at Homeland Security. I should have been safe. Right?

Those days started me on a journey that changed everything. The only person who knows the truth about me is Tierney James. If Enigma finds out about her she could be in danger too. She'd probably love working for them. At this point I'm just trying to keep my head above water with these guys. Every time I plan to quit, Chase does something that makes me realize I never will.

Sometimes I think I'm falling in love with him.
















Sunday, June 22, 2014

Day #1 The Beginning

My name is Tessa Scott and I'm a liar. Not by choice of course. I have been forced into this predicament because of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, my home. Now I pretend to be something that I used to be before "they" took over my life, before "he" made me second guess everything I believed to be true and just in this world. My friend, Tierney James, said it would be therapeutic. I'm not sure my real therapist would agree. Yes, I have a therapist. Once I begin my story you'll understand why I need someone sane to confess my sins. Besides. I didn't have a choice. Everyone at my day job is mandated to visit Dr. Wu. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

I'm a happily married woman with three kids, two boys and a girl.  I live in a beautiful Victorian home in Grass Valley, California. My husband is a lawyer and I'm a teacher. Or at least I was until Enigma got involved. Now I live a secret life that parallels my pretend life. I swear I didn't have a choice! 

It started when Captain Chase Hunter forced his way into my house after the rest of my family left on vacation. He lied to me from the first moment we met. Considering he saved my life twice that day I forgave him. I also started down a perilous road of hero worship. Maybe that's why I do it. Our friendship turned into a complicated relationship that jeopardizes  any happiness with my husband Robert. If he ever finds out what I've done in the name of national security he'll either divorce or kill me. 

I'm already feeling like I shouldn't have started this blog. I'll continue if you are interested in my story. Sometimes I'll have to just write about my day or what the kids are doing. But mostly I need to tell you the shameful things I've stooped to doing in the name of freedom.